Front Row

(I know he’s blood but you can still turn him away you
Don’t owe him anything)

Do you go to the dungeon?
To find out how to make peace with your days in the dungeon
Writing a letter to you didn’t make me feel any more peaceful than how I felt when we weren’t speaking
Because I didn’t cop to what I did
I can’t love you because we’re supposed to have professional boundaries.
I’d like you to be schooled and in awe
As though you were kissed by god full on the lips

[Chorus]
I’m in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you
See you, close up

(I’m too tired to recount the
Unpleasantries one by one
Minute I want to banish you
The next I want to be on
A deserted island with you along with my three favorite CDs
Ambivalent yet in your
Bed we’ve yet to acknowledge what really happened)

Slid into the ditch
I have this overwhelming loss of ambition
We said let’s name thirty good reasons
Why we shouldn’t be together
I started by saying things like “you smoke” “you live in new jersey”
You started saying things like “you belong to the world”
All of which could have been easily refuted
But the conversation was hypothetical
I am totally short of breath for you
Why can’t you shut your stuff off

[Chorus]

(and I laughed until my lungs hurt
I love how you bust my chops
You don’t always feel seen sometimes you feel erasable
Unfortunately I cannot reciprocate in my current state
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together)

For a while while I’m speaking
To you know how much you hate to be interrupted, maybe spend some time alone
Fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn’t always have to be about you
I’ve been wanting your undivided attention
I like the fact that you’re nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your charmed life seemingly

[Chorus]

(you never meant to be ungrateful
Nor held up to be whipped or wept for certainly not analyzed
Prodded at more ways than one
Apparently you’ve been misrepresented
Dealing with the concept of arrows being
Slung towards your outrageous fortune)

Hey I’m not mad at you guardian
I’m mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your Jekyll and Hydeness
I’m glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh and said “come here let me clip your wings!”
(I know he’s blood but you can still turn him away you
Don’t owe him anything)
“raise the roof” he yelled “yeah raise the roof!” I yelled back
(unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.)
No thanks to the soap box
Having me rile against them
Won’t make an ounce of difference

[Chorus]

(oh the things I’ve done for you
Many a stitch a friend
A man’s been left for you
Oh the books I’ve read for you
The tongues I’ve bitten for you
Many a new city for you
Many a risk taken for you
Not a single regret)