Variety Speak

Yakko: In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak
It’s spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week
Dot : It’s found inside Variety, a magazine they use
Y+D : And no one understands it when they read the movie news.

Dot : Like “Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix”
Yakko: Means someone made a movie that bombed
Dot : “The veeps in charge are now at large”
Yakko: Means everyone involved is gone.

Dot : “The plot conflix; no beautiful chix”
Yakko: So it’s coming out on video soon
Dot : They’re “taking their lix”
‘Cause the critics say “nix”
Yakko: And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix.

Dot : But the “stock sees green” on page thirteen
Yakko: Means Disney’s up a nickel a share
Dot : “Stallone cuts deal for a major reel”
Yakko: Means Rocky number six, so beware.

Dot : If you want the “poop”
Yakko: Or you need the “scoop”
Y+D : On Hollywood town this week
You’re gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!

Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!

Dot : “A boffo smash makes Warner cash”
Yakko: Means there’s gonna be a sequel next year
Dot : But “Paramount hurts and they’re losing their shirts”
Yakko: Means Schwarzenegger’s doing King Lear.

Dot : “Oliver Stone does next Home Alone”
Yakko: Means he’s getting paid an arm and a leg
The budget goes “crunch”
Dot : But his name “packs punch”
Yakko: So they called up the accountants and they’re gonna “do lunch”!

Dot : Well, the “ratings smile” on the O.J. trial
Yakko: Means a movie of the week to premiere
Dot : “Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel”
Yakko: To do a hundred thousand movies a year.

YW+D : You gotta play it smart
If you wanna be part
Of the crowd that’s hip and chic
You’re gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!

Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!

Yakko: Normal talk makes producers walk
Y+D : You might as well speak Greek
You’re gonna have to learn…
Wakko: Or the meeting will adjourn…
YW+D : Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety Speak!

Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!

YW+D : Bah-doop-bah-doop-bah-doop-bahhh-dah!