When Rita Met Runt

Rita: What’s a human good for, anyway?

Runt: They pet you when they’re sad
Rita: They smack you when you’re bad
Runt: When you’re hungry they definitely feed you.
Rita: Yeah, on vacation they leave you with hardly no food.
Ring a bell, dude?
(Runt looks under dish and sighs)
Rita: Exactly my point.

Rita: Humans ain’t what they seem to be
They don’t mean that much to me
No, not much at all.

When you’re little and tiny
They pet your cute hiney
But then when you grow
It’s a simple no-show
It’s “shoo shoo off this”
And “don’t you dare scratch on that”
If they call you at all
It’s always “dumb cat.”

Humans ain’t what they seem to be
They don’t mean that much to me
No, not much at all.

But when it’s all dark and quiet
I try hard to fight it
But I dream of home
Then I won’t have to roam
Someone to feed me and put me to bed
And scratch me just so on top of my head.

But I ain’t gonna love ‘em
Not gonna answer that call
‘Cause humans don’t mean that much to me
No, not much at all.

(bars fall away)