Kill Yourself

Have you ever felt sad or lonely?
Have you ever felt two feet tall?
Have you ever thought: Man, if only I was anybody else at all
They like to kick you
When times get rough
And you give your all
But it’s not enough

And sticks and stones might break your bones
But words can break your heart
And if you don’t know where to go
I’ll show you where to start

Kill yourself, it’ll only take a minute
You’ll be happy that you did it
Just go over to your oven
And shove your head in it
Kill yourself, really, you should do it
There’s really nothing to it
Just grab a mug
And chug a cup of lighter fluid

I sound un-empathetic
I sound mean and rude
Suicide is an epidemic
And I don’t want to be misconstrued
Signs of depression
Go overlooked
So if you’re depressed
Then you need to book
A therapy session
Talk about your depression
Let a professional hear it
But if you search for
Moral wisdom
In Katy Perry’s lyrics, then

Kill yourself, it won’t be painful
If you are able
To give a little kiss to an oncoming train, you’ll
Kill yourself, it’s over, mull it
There’s a trigger, pull it
Get it through your head, “it” being a bullet

Stick your tongue in a plug
Suck a pipe of exhaust
Make some toast in the tub
Nail yourself to a cross
Hold your breath till it’s gone
Drink a gallon of mace
Be gay in Iran
Let Oprah sit on your face
Jump off of a bridge
Skinny dip in a flood
Sky dive attached to a fridge
Drink a Haitian guy’s blood
Break into the zoo
Give a tiger a shove
Eat a Phillips head screw
Marry Courtney Love