Cursed Night

The days are blending together
Pretending like I don’t notice
Drowning in mental fog so thick
My hands might close where my throat is
Not gonna rap that “I’m cursed”
My words got heavy
And sure enough the steady ebb-and-flow of life subsided
But I wasn’t ready
Last night, I thought up a song but I’m too wired to hum it
Inspired sight, like tunnel-vision on the life I got from it
Not tired yet, right? Hah
It’s fun, I’ll tell ya that much
Adventures oughta be remembered as such
But, I’m not well

Not today, not tomorrow
These souls insidе my pocket are just sanity I borrow
“Sayonara” to the sorrow of еternity alone? Yeah, right
Part of the joke is that it’s all that I’ve known
It’s justified — can’t help that I romanticize your concern
Now I can fantasize forever if you never say the words “Goodbye”
This tainted mindset really must go free
Finding someone so fuckin’ wonderful when I’m just so… me

Searching by city light
You’ll never find me
Running through a cursed night
“Do you have a death wish?”
Shut the lid tight, it’s complicated
Could ya not look inside, it’s complicated
Somehow, I’m just a page in, but I’ve cried and I’ve grown
To shut away the conversation of my “highs-and-lows”
Jibun no me de mietai no?
Kono zetsubou no utsukushi sa

Laid back in the cracks of my past, it’s kinda funny
Got sick of the tricking myself into thinking that others would only run from me
Because, as you know, I’m Death
You heard about me?
I’m kinda famous, now it’s awkward…
But welcome to my constant state of mind
Like, could you knock first?
Hanasenai kotoba
Min’na no shinpai goto wa
Mimi ni tsunagaranai
Why is it every time your kindness is making my chest unbearably tight?
But, not for the first time
A terrible night for a curse
But don’t you worry, ‘cause it hurts fine
Drunk, lost, CalliP
Wandering Rengoku-shi
Enlighten me — is this what they call a “sunk cost fallacy”?
Frightening, in spite of things I want tossed my way
I’m looking everywhere at once and months are passing like days
“By myself” is just better. I know I say that a lot
But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become God
Lost in the night, nasakenai
Hostile, hostage or free
These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see

Searching by city light
You’ll never find me
Running through a cursed night
“Do you have a death wish?”
Shut the lid tight, it’s complicated
Could ya not look inside, it’s complicated
Somehow, I’m just a page in, but I’ve cried and I’ve grown
To shut away the conversation of my “highs-and-lows”
Jibun no me de mietai no?
Kono zetsubou no utsukushi sa

Yeah, jibun no me de mietai no?
Kono zetsubou…
Jibun no me de mietai no?
Wanna see it?
Fine, this time, look for yourself