Augustus Gloop

Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!
Augustus Gloop! So Big and Vile!
So greedy, foul, and infantile

‘Come on!’ we cried, ‘The time is ripe
To send him shooting up the pipe!
But don’t, dear children, be alarmed;
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed!

Although, of course, we must admit
He will be altered quite a bit
Slowly, wheels go round and round,
And cogs begin to grind and pound;
We boil him for a minute more,
Until we’re absolutely sure

Then out he comes! And now! By grace!
A miracle has taken place
A miracle has taken place

This greedy brute, this louse’s ear,
Is loved by people everywhere!
For who could hate or bear a grudge
Against a luscious bit of fudge?