A Discouraged Believer

Darkness!
Emptiness!
Ruthlessness!
I walk through a storm inside my soul!

In darkness
My twin emptiness!
Endless ruthlessness!
I walk through a storm inside my soul!

I drown inside this innermost hell
Lost and captive in a human cell
Grief pearls sparkle in these eyes
Slowly I shrink and everything dies
I am unable to change my fate
When all my hope turns to hate
I shall hurt myself for salvation
Since I breathe life’s damnation

Down in a hole
I walk through a storm inside my soul

Too many bastards reach for my young mind
Inside the filthy selfish streets of the mankind
With an abysmal disgust and wrath I run away
I know on dread’s playground I can never stay

There is a darkness anchored deep inside my heart
I can’t break the tide chains before I’m torn apart
This narrow cold embrace is another kind of pain
In every time I beg for an end of that torture in vain

I am the discouraged believer by God’s goodness
Embedded inside an ugly farewell’s ruthlessness
I can’t longer depend from my isolation’s misery
In desperation I search for the caress of eternity

Darkness!
Emptiness!
Ruthlessness!
I walk through a storm inside my soul!

In darkness
My twin emptiness!
Endless ruthlessness
I walk through a storm inside my soul!

The shadow of the future covers my morning Sun
A new day in hell has just begun
One thought kills inside my sleepy brain
I can’t give my life for all I always feel the same

There is a darkness anchored deep inside my heart
I can’t break the tide chains before I’m torn apart
This narrow cold embrace is another kind of pain
In every time I beg for an end of that torture in vain

I stare into the abyss
Behind the gates of the demise
Into flames of nothingness
I hear the scarred soul cries