A Day In Falsettoland/ Racquetball

A day in Falsettoland
Dr. Mendel at work

I don’t get it
I don’t understand
In the ’60s, everyone had heart
In the ’60s, we were all a part of the same team
In the ’60s, we had a new world to start
Could this–
Oh God, don’t say it is–
Could this be the new world we started?
Here I sit, brokenhearted and

You go out on the street, and there’s
All these people asking for a handout
Then you go home, you open your mail
And it’s full of people asking for a donation
Then, you turn on the TV
And there’s pictures of starving children in Ethiopia

And how does that make you feel, Diane?
Caroline
Caroline?

Yes, my name is Caroline
My God!

I don’t get it
I’ve been left behind
Half my patients: Yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans
Now the world is too pathetic
And I don’t get it at all

Now that I got the promotion, can I finally stop sleeping with my boss?
Time’s up!
You always do this!

At least there’s Trina at home
Trina in bed
Trina obsessing
And sort of caressing
My head with her feet
I once thought it was sweet
But I don’t anymore
Now I just snore
‘Cause I’m so exhausted
Listening to these yuppie farts complain
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives

Trina works it out
Marvin’s back with Whizzer
Just like how it was
If I don’t like Whizzer
It’s because my ex sure does
Why should that upset me?
Sometimes I’m a lout
Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt?
Work it out!

The neighbors relax after work
How was your day at the hospital?
Unbelievable
What is that smell?

Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
I’ve been practicing
Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle
Hi, honey
Well?

Hi, honey
How was your day?
It was terrible
Did you hear that Marvin’s back with Whizzer?
Marvin’s back with Whizzer!

Drop it, sweetheart
Give it up
You know I love you
What’s the matter, Trina darling?
I don’t get it
Why can’t you let go?

Maybe in a mile, I’ll be okay
I’ll be happy when we finally have this bar mitzvah

Isn’t it enough
I want you every night?
Who?
Every other night?
Me?
Every third night?
Hm

Okay, let’s drop it
(Sung)
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright

How was your day
At the hospital?
It was wonderful
For the first time in months
Nobody died

Yay?
There were just
Heart attacks and gallstones
Light bulbs up the ass
Fake appendicitis which was gas
Which I diagnosed
People overdosed and I saved them
I saved young people, old people
One priest and one high school principal
Saving lives, I feel invincible
Yes I do
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you

You save lives and I save chicken fat
I can’t fucking deal with that!
Do you know how great my life is?
Yes, I know how great your life is
Do you know how great my life is?

Yes, I know how great your life is
Do you know how great my life is?
Yes, I know how great your life is
Saving lives

And loving you
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright

Ha
It bounced twice
No, it didn’t
Yeah, once, then twice
You know it did

That’s not nice
No, it isn’t
But you’re a pain in the ass

You’re a beast
But, at least
When you play me, you win
You give up
I perspire

Where’s the heat?
Where’s the fire?
Used to be you desire
To fight!
So fight!

So play!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!
One-two-three-four!

Lucky dink!
I’m finessing
Something stinks in how you play
Don’t you think it’s a blessing
I’m so pathetically bad?

Just stay back
Serve with force
I’ll attack
And, of course
I will win
Just give in
To bliss
And kiss

Let’s go!
Do you know?
All I want
Is you
Anything you do
Is all right
Yes, it’s all right
Do you know?
All I want is
You

Down the alley
High lob
Low drive
Ceiling shot
Into the corner
Four walls

Dink
What?
What?
Hit your shoe
No, it didn’t
Yes it did
The game is through

That’s not nice
No, it isn’t
God, you’re a pain in the ass
Play it raw
Don’t play pretty
Sex and games
In New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion
And passion and flair

Do you know
​All I want is you?
Anything you do
​Is alright
Yes it’s alright [CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?

Everything will be alright!
Everything will be alright!
Everything will be alright!
Everything will
Everything will

Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright
Feel alright

Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your
Rest of your
Everything will be alright!