Distant

I crave affection, co-dependence and vulnerability
All of which I try to keep myself from experiencing
But I can’t help when there’s a crack in the façade I bring
I let my guard down for a second and you leave

It took some time for me to realise the things I feel
Six months of us pretending, we never wanted this to be real
If I’m honest with myself I thought we would never really fit
But I cared more than I care to admit

So lock me out of your life
And throw away the key
We were never meant to be

Leave me to waste, hang me out to dry
Another person in my life on which I can’t rely
Hide me away, create an alibi
For all the time that you felt distant and weary-eyed

Were we ever that special if you never trusted me?
Your mind polluted by self-doubt and insecurity

But I guess I’m still to blame, I’m the cause of your distress
I’m the only constant in every single mess

It’s so much harder to point the blame
When everything turns out the same
I guess I’m always the one to blame
When it all turns out the same