With Quiet Disregard

For years and years in this world I am living
With infinite pain I swallow deep down inside
No one have known how much wounds I covered
No one have known how much I was tired
How can it be I am drowning in oceans
Of deep agony that take me to edges
With the weight of this fate on my shoulders
Asking myself to fall in this haze

I’ve tried to search my hopes and my answers
Across this malignant reigns of sorrow and grief
I have seen so much gloom, desperation
And the lights of the truth disappeared
Indeed I felt my spirit withering slowly
Cold autumn waves embraced entirely my being
My fragile wishes have called me to follow
My inner wisdoms and my secret dreams

I’ve tried to fight against my loneliness
I was always afraid to delusing someone
I’ve slighted my real ideals and wishes
And I’ve lied to myself about my life
But I’ve found just cold statues on my paths
And my naivety became my eternal flaw
And soon I forget about my tenderness
And thunders of madness encircled my soul

Black fogs covered the sun of my existence
And the fallen leaves have frozen my heart
Asleep in the deepest agonal slumber
I am chained in the mirrors of loss
With every new fall I gain to this knowledges
With every new pain my being will fade
My sins and my failures will lead me to abyss
My journey will come to it’s unnatural end

This words are so cold
This beings are so wrong
This pains are so old
This feelings are so strong

I drank alone my poison
I’ve sit in depths of ashes
I’ve withered in my darkness
I burnt in my fancy’s flames

I fell in absence of myself
I travelled beyond sweet deceits
My world, lost and forgotten
Adrift (adrift) in ocean of sins

I’m the cursed, the vagrant
I’m silent in fire of doom
Oppressed by my inner damnation
Betrayed by my wounded lusts

My world is dying in indifference
In loveless oceans of lies
There’s no time for the changes
And I am (I am) so tired (so tired) to try