I'm Serious, I'm Sorry

I didn’t know that he got in a car crash
We could have been friends, could have got married
Could have had grandkids, sent them to college
Or at least attended each other’s weddings

I didn’t know that you stayed home for hours
Calling his parents asking for answers
Skipping your prom night, crying and praying
Up to a God that you never believed in

Meghan held your body
While you were sobbing at the party
And I couldn’t leave the kitchen
I ingested too much poison

I wanted to tell you I know how it feels when
The people you love just start disappearing
Ashamed that you took their presence for granted
But I didn’t want to seem condescending

I didn’t know that you’d relive the moment
The doctor came out with a frown and a clipboard
And you wandered home with no ride feeling stupid
That you thought that this was a regular visit

Meghan held your body
While you were sobbing at the party
And I couldn’t help from staring
And creating extra tension
Watching meghan hold your body
While you were sobbing at the party
And I couldn’t leave the kitchen
I ingested too much poison

Were you supposed to not go to college?
Stay in your mom’s house on the computer
Googling grief cures, talking to no one
Waiting for life to start feeling better?
Waiting for pain to not be a constant?
Waiting to feel like anyone’s honest?
Waiting for me to stop being sarcastic
Because I can’t accept (because I can’t accept)
Because I can’t accept all the bad things that happen

Oh, I swear I’m sorry
That I saw you at the party
That I stood there saying nothing
While you wept before your new friends
Oh, I’m serious, I’m sorry
Oh, I’m serious, I’m sorry