Halfhearted

I never really understood just why
How to throw an investment
In the dark gray sky like it
Never really happened at all when it started
Guess I’m not halfhearted

I wake up everyday
To the bright morning sun
I fall asleep every night
Think of things that I’ve done
I think of all the people and how different
I could’ve become

I could’ve been a doctor
I could’ve been a nurse
I could’ve been better
But I could’ve been worse
Ever since the beginning
I’ve just been self-made
And high-strung

So I picked up a guitar
And I picked up a pen
And instead of going out
I chose to stay in
I never slept around
And I never really got into drugs

I had too much self-respect
To have respect from my peers
So they called me anorexic
And laughed at my tears
Only a lesbian who understood an outcast
Ever gave me a hug

And I never really understood just why
How to throw an investment
In the dark gray sky like it
Never really happened at all when it started
Guess I’m not halfhearted

I hated ‘em for a while
For the pain I had endured
And they asked me for friendship – as if that was the cure
I tried to feel better
So I went out to every venue
And played

I got on TV
And I got on the news
Kept writing my songs
And racking up views
I forgot to remember them
And that was when I truly forgave

Because it’s not about their actions
It’s how you react
Do you silently fight
Or you just step back
Because haters only hate a threat
That makes them feel weak

And it took me years
Through the xanax and boos
To understand the life you live
Is the live that you choose
Walk the walk
And practice what you preach

‘Cause I never really understood just why
How to throw an investment
In the dark gray sky like it
Never really happened at all when it started
Guess I’m not halfhearted

‘Cause it’s about finding strength
In the mess that you make
Writing your story
And filling the page
The highs and the lows
And the scars that you show or you hide

You can self-medicate
Or trash talk and hate
But you’re the only one
Who can stand in your way
No matter where you’re from
I’m always on your side

‘Cause I never really understood just why
How to throw an investment
In the dark gray sky like it
Never really happened at all when it started
Guess I’m not halfhearted

No I never really understood just why
How to throw an investment
In the dark gray sky like it
Never really happened at all when it started
Guess I’m not halfhearted