Carousels

On a bus ride into town,
I wondered out loud
“Why am I going to town?”
As I looked around
at the billboards and the stores
I thought, “Why do I look around?”
So I kissed the filthy ground
and in the first dry spot I found
I didin’t have to wonder
Why I was laying down
Before I walk I was too cold
took a bus back to the station
I found a letter left by a pay phone
with no return contact,
it read like a horn blown by some sad angel
“Bunny, it was me, it was me who let you down”
it was the shyest attempt
I’d ever seen at conversation

If I didn’t have You as my guide I’d still wander lost in Sinai
counting the plates of cars from out-of-state,
how I could jump in their path they hurry along!
you surround me, you’re pretty but you’re all I can see,
like a thick fog – if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long,

St. Cyril’s fair always came through the first week of September
but it’s already the 19th and there’s no sign of it yet.
Yeah, I have a hard time
Remembering the things I shouldn’t remember in a hard time
and forgetting the things that I sopposed forget.
Oh Christ when You’re ready to come back I think I’m ready for You to come back
but if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are,
that’s okay too – it’s really none of my business.

If I didn’t have You as my guide I’d still be wandering
lost in Sinai or down by the tracks watching trains go by to remind me:
There are places that aren’t here.
I had a well but all the water left so I’ll ask Your forgiveness
with every breath, if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long, dear.