Godlight

There’s no way out of an angry crowd
Without stepping on some toes
They’ll scream your name till the lights go out
Then they feed you to the wolves

It’s hard to say who you’ll be
Hen they let those big red curtains close
You know this
‘Cause you told me so
I bet you forgot

Black heels in the summertime
Dad’s bad cooking, though you’d be polite
Honey now you got a look that I can’t recognize
Pulled me aside
And you said

To know me
Is to hate me
Is to hate what I’ve become

It’s to watch me
As I’m falling
From that ladder’s last rung

It’s to feel it
Like a secret
You can’t keep in
I’m not the way I was
I’m not the way I was

Were you freed within, did you leave your skin?
Are you tethered in your doubt?
Have you breathed it in till its medicine
That you cannot live without?

‘Cause you came back home a fuckin’ alien
And we’re stuck here on the ground
Call mom back kid before the high comes down
‘Cause you forgot

Black heels in the summertime
Dirt road smoking on a Friday night
Now you got a look that I don’t recognize
You pulled me aside and you said

To know me
Is to hate me
Is to hate what I’ve become

It’s to watch me
As I’m falling
From that ladder’s last rung

It’s to feel it
Like a secret
You can’t keep in
I’m not the way I was
I’m not the way I was

But to feel it
To see it
The look in all their eyes

Is to breathe in
To be in
The good grace of that God light
To have it in your hands
The one thing you wanted all your life
It’s all mine

But there’s a hole I can’t fill
There’s a curse I can’t break
And I gave my soul to it
And it can’t be reclaimed
I was younger then
I was younger then
I was young

To know me
Is to hate me
Is to hate what I’ve become

It’s to watch me
As I’m falling
From that ladder’s last rung

It’s to feel it
Like a secret
You can’t keep in
I’m not the way I was
I’m not the way I was

But to feel it
To see it
The look in all their eyes

Is to breathe in
To be in
The good grace of that god light
It’s to have it in your hands
The one thing you wanted all your life
It’s all mine

And to feel it
To see it
The look in all your eyes
Is to breathe in
To be in
The good grace of this god light

It’s to have it
In your hands
The one thing I wanted my life
It’s all mine