Natalie Cook

There is something to the ritual
Of setting some old shit on fire
A way of saying this now lives in memory
A way of saying it’s only a memory

There’s something to the ritual
Of setting a torch to what is gone
The vikings did it to honor a memory
And now we do it to honor who I used to be

Let’s say goodbye to Natalie
She was 33
Tonight
Let’s say goodbye to Natalie
And her fake IDs

She was imaginary
Which is why we say goodbye to her
And hello to me
This is ridiculous
Why?
I don’t see why I have to join your little cremation ceremony
You’re the one who made her up

It was a bit more collaborative than you’re remembering
All I want right now is the same thing I wanted two weeks ago
The truth
Why did you lie to me?
And why does Natalie Cook exist in the first place?

The person who I was
On the day you and I met
Was deeply ashamed of who she had become
So deeply ashamed of what she’d done

And when you showed her questions
The 36 questions
She looked ahead and saw
Who she wanted to be

She built a past
Made up a history
Details that fit this person named
Natalie

Let’s say goodbye to Natalie
She was 33
On her fake IDs

She was real to me

I don’t expect
For you to understand perfectly
I loved her, too, as much as you
And she’d want you to bury her with me

Okay
Okay what?
Give me the match

There is something to the ritual
Of setting fire to the lie
A way of saying that’s one win for honesty
What’s done is done

Tonight
I say goodbye to Natalie
She was 33

Tonight
We say goodbye to Natalie
And her fake IDs
She was imaginary
She was 33
May she rest in peace