Old Friends

Walking outside labyrinthine
Over cracks along under the trees
I know this town grounded in a compass
Cardinal landed in the dogwood

I keep going over it over and over
My steps iterate my shame
How come every outcome’s such a comedown?
Lately afternoon with the shades drawn down

I kept saying I just wanted to see you
Saying: What’s wrong with that?
Needles shaking outlines in a compass
Every outcome’s such a comedown

I knew it when I saw it
So I deduced what I wanted
So I go through with this
I knew happiness when I saw it

I saw your boyfriend at the port authority
It’s a sort of fucked up place
Well so I averted my stride on a quick one
He’s coming back from going over to your place, huh?

I feel like I could forget about it
I feel like I could mellow out
I don’t feel undone in a big way
There’s nothing really bad to be upset about

But when I thought I was getting better
I woke up on the ground
An appointment or disappointment
I set back, oh, another comedown

As if I needed a reminder
Oh, I do only what I want to
So I go through with this

Walking out in the nighttime springtime
Needling my way home
I saw leah on the bus a few months ago
I saw some old friends at her funeral

My steps keep splitting my grief
Through these solipsistic moods
I should call my parents when I think of them
Should tell my friends when I love them

Maybe I should have gone out a bit more
And you guys are still in town
I got too caught up in my own shit
It’s how every outcome’s such a comedown

And I knew it when I saw it
Oh, I did just what I wanted
So I go through with this
I knew happiness when I saw it