Press Pound

This is hard for me to do
But I can’t seem to stop myself
I know you said that we were through
And here I am.
I’m calling you.
Please try to understand
I see myself as your loving man
Whatever it is you think I lack
Let’s talk about it.
Call me back.
Press 1 if you want me
Press 2 if you don’t
Press 3 if you’ll forgive me
Press 4 if you won’t
Press 5 if you doubt me
Press 6 if you trust
Press pound if you love me
Or hang up if you must.
I have an unlimited plan
I forward my calls everywhere
I check my voice-mail from the car
Or at the payphone in the bar
I’m wearing a beeper all the time
I carry a portable fax
Instant message me on the train
I get my emails from the plane
Press 1 if you re-married
Press 2 if you’re gay
Press 3 if you’re dating
That prick from L.A.
Press 5 if you’re screening
Press 6 if you’re dead
Press pound if you love me
Or hang up instead
I’m outside your house now
There’s not even one light on
Has there been a blackout?
I don’t know
Is that a police car?
I should go
Press 1 to press charges
Press 2 to feel my pain
Press 3 to place an order
Press 4 to restrain
Press 5 for visiting hours
Press 6 for a day pass
Press pound if you love me
You sure look good through the glass