I Fucking Love Christmas

I’m full of Christmas semen, I don’t know what that is but it’s hot
It’s a sparkling orgasm, inside an oatmeal cookie shot
And when I put my Santa hat on it’s a needle full of Christmas glee
Coating my house in frilly shit
and Disney trademark intellectual property

Cause it’s snowing
I love shopping
and I fu fu fu fu fu fucking love Christmas
Setting up the lights
So my fucking house sings
cause I’m fucking batshit crazy about Christmas
If Christmas was living
I’d fuck it to death
and then consume it’s body
For it’s Christmas breath
cause it’s growing
I’m not stopping
I fufufufucking love Christmas

Ladies and gentlemen, did you know that on top of dying for all our sins, Jesus Christ plays a wicked electric guitar? LISTEN! You dance! You fucking dan ce! That’s our lord and savior you mother fuckers!

I’ll buy all things red and green,
accumulating thousands in debt
I’ll let it ruin my life,
Making it the best Christmas yet
And I’ll play those Christmas carols until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer,
It’ll scare the shit outta you but it’s only getting bigger every year!

Cause it’s snowing
I love shopping
and I fu fu fu fu fu fucking love Christmas
I love those stop motion shows
That scare the shit outta me
cause I’m fucking batshit crazy about Christmas
I bathe in hot chocolate ‘til my skin is red
And I’ll sing Christmas songs until your soul is dead
Cause I’m soaking
in sweet toppings
and I fucking love Christmas

and the feels, and the deals, and the meals, and the steals at the Sears
Keep it longer, make it stronger, nothing’s wrong here, I could stay here all year
Smell the crazy, feeling hazy, something’s tasty, at the Macy’s downtown
Getting higher, feeling wired, I’m inspired, I’m on fire right now

I love the over marketing for making deplumes
By the way this song’s available on itunes

I wanna smash it open ‘til it’s stiff and cold
and maybe search its brains for its Christmas gold
and then drink it’s blood ‘til I lose control
and the Christmas madness will take it’s toll!

Tranquilizer hits him

it’s snowing
and I love shopping
and I fufufufufufucking love Christmas
Enough to build tranquilizer immunity
I must be fucking batshit crazy about Christmas

I’ll kill anyone not celebrating with me,
Your resistance is feeding my insanity
Cause it’s snowing
I love shopping
so put that star on top the tree
and buy me a fucking tv
We’re going on a shopping spree
my stockings filled with DVDs
I my heart is filling up with glee
can’t help what’s is going over me
I fufufufufucking love Christmas