Pro Smoking Cigarette Song (or Tuesdays With Morrie)

This is a ‘Pro Smoking Cigarette Song’
So everybody light one up and fuckin’ sing along
Sing cancer whatever!
And heart disease who cares?
Angina sounds funny, so I’ll take it…

When I wake up, put on my makeup
Light up a cigarette and smoke away my cares
I lost capacity, for breathing in too deep
I still like cigarettes so now who cares?

Maybe some day i’ll wake up and I’ll be singin’ just like Chad
But not today as you can hear so
Light one up I got somethin’ to say!

This is a ‘Pro Smoking Cigarette Song’
Everybody light one up and fuckin’ sing along
Sing cancer whatever!
Heart disease who cares?
Angina sounds funny, so maybe baby I don’t care!

*Cough*

I like to drink and smoke
I like to fuckin’ fight
I like to wake up by the toilet when I’ve stayed out all night

I like to talk real loud
And I like cigarettes
Maybe their related
Yeah, well maybe

(Ah maybe I’m just a fuckin’ douchebag)

Light one up after eating a big meal
Light one up while taking a shit
I burn my jeans when I try to wipe my ass
That’s just the price you pay…

(For cigarettes!)

This is a ‘Pro Smoking Cigarette Song’,
Everybody light one up and fuckin’ sing along
Hand me that ashtray from that table right there
“Girls just wanna have fun…”

(That’s all they really want…)

This is a ‘Pro Smoking Cigarette Song’
So everybody light one up and fuckin’ sing along
Cancer whatever!
Heart disease who cares?
Angina sounds funny, so i’ll take it…

A cigarette, a cigarette!
(Is) this fuckin’ song not over yet?
‘Cause I need a cigaratte…
A cigarette!

I wanna quit
I really should
But this industry tricked me really good!

Think they won’t trick you?
?
?
?

Somebody told me that laser surgery would help me quit
That’s what I heard
So next Wednesday June 3rd
It’s time that I made it legit!

I promised my girlfriend a year ago I
A year ago that I would quit
And that was a lie!
And that’s why
I’m gettin’ lasers shot into my eyes…