Portola (Blood Clot!)

Spaced out, always looking up
Sleepwalking, I don’t wanna wake up, no
Too many pills, body won’t budge (won’t budge)
Too many ounces, reason why I’m slumped

Rather stay numb to it, oblivious
I been up for days, delirious
Bury my emotions for periods
Deeper that I get, insidious

I’m feeling so, so broke
Damaging my lungs, chain smoke
Rather stay numb when provoked
Rather stay asleep than woke

Oh, oh, oh, here’s another sad story
Tryna work on me like a fucking laboratory
Smoke, smoke, smoke, fucking up my respiratory
I burn it up like my soul a crematory

I can’t feel my face, I can’t feel my legs
I can’t feel my arms, my body out of place
Is this the one that’s gonna do me in?

Will there come a day I don’t have to pretend?
Will there come a time my past don’t haunt me?
Will there come a time I wanna feel something?

Ain’t no happy endings where I’m from, no
The day you born, your grave’s already dug, yeah
I got therapists for day-ays and they all talk the same
Road to hell is paved with the best intentions
Tryna dig up through my layers for what’s already missing

Spaced out, always looking up
Sleepwalking, I don’t wanna wake up, no
Too many pills, body won’t budge (won’t budge)
Too many ounces, reason why I’m slumped

Rather stay numb to it, oblivious
I been up for days, delirious
Bury my emotions for periods
Deeper that I get, insidious

I’m feeling so, so broke
Damaging my lungs, chain smoke
Rather stay numb when provoked
Rather stay asleep than woke