Opening

[All]
This is the story of three girl groups on a mission
To win first place in the musical tradition
High in the swish alps
But it ain’t Eurovision!
It’s the Salzburger Rusic Music Singing Competition
Festival

[Narrator (spoken)]
And now, introducing our competitors!
Performing nightly at the abbey
It’s mother superior and the bad habits!

[Mother superior and the bad habits (sung)]
(One, two, three, four!)
[?]

[Narrator (spoken)]
Headlining weekends at Salzburger Mary’s
Their music really slaps
They’re the family Von Snapps!

[Von Snapps (sung)]
Yodeling
Yodeling
Pinecone
(Pinecone?
Yeah!)

And finally, from club anal vice
The reigning champions for the past 35 years
They never break a sweat
It’s the baroness bronn and her baronettes!

[Baroness Bronn]
Uh, what?
You expect us to sing for free?
Keep it moving

[Narrator]
But there’s a problem blowing in the wind for the sisters at the abbey
And they call the wind-
Mariah (Mariah, Mariah)