Drunk

Just one drink! Gonna keep it mellow
Responsible night for a polite fellow
Say hello to my friends and comrades
Don’t tend to offend so I say perhaps
Just two drinks! As a social courtesy
We can raise a glass to our past fraternity
And certainly, a perfectly normal informal get together
But it’s been forever since we gathered so whatever
Just three drinks! For the sake of the old times
Proceed with tequila shots with a dish full of cold limes
The whole nine, laughing, remembering all the old lines
Never used to work but I could ‘em give another try
Just four drinks! Y’know, take the edge off
I’ve had a hard week, I deserve to get sauced
Pick up another round as my friends depart and
They may not stick around but I just got started

Feel so much better than usual
I feel indisputable, oh
I think that I might be beautiful

Just five drinks! Fuckin’ treat myself
Pour the Dom Perignon from the back of the top shelf
Spend like God, put on airs to sell it
Crowd pretends not to care but I know they’re jealous
Just six drinks! Let slip the dogs of war
I’m gonna start a fuckin’ riot ‘til I’m tossed out the front door
Zero to sixty, I can turn on a dime, I’m hitting bottom
And I’m feeling like committing a crime
Just eight drinks! Maybe I’ve lost count?
I can’t remember the night, what I drank or the amount
I’m fading in and out, my very consciousness is crumbling
Sorry, was I saying something?
Twelve drinks! Strolling out of the hospital
Is it hair of the dog if you stay drunk and don’t stop at all?
Another night, losing it, more than I can afford
Was I just feeling bored? Am I that insecure?

Feel so much better than usual
I feel indisputable, oh
But now, I’m feeling so beautiful
Don’t wake me up from this spell I’m under if I’m still breathing
I know that I will be ugly when
I feel like myself again, oh
But now, I’m feeling so beautiful

Bottle of Scotch, served on the rocks with a shot of Cachaca
Vodka, Sake, kamikaze with a handle of Sherry
A cherry Brandy with a Jaeger, chaser, Champagne float
A Bourbon, hot Toddy in teacup of throat coat
Martini, Bellini, Negroni, Baileys, Kahlua, Sambuca
Soju, Paloma, Mojito, Gimlet, Frangelico, Guinness
Tequila, Manhattan, a Margarita, Old Fashioned
Dry Vermouth and something I can’t taste ‘cause I’m so trashed
Soldiering over, I’m slower, shoulder to shoulder with no one
Stumbling, sobering, making friends with a smoker
I know I’m less than upright, losing the fight with the ground
Then someone hits the lights as they close for the night now
Try to look at Heaven and I can’t see the stars
A billion, trillion eyes are winking as I walk between parked cars
Metabolizing liquor while I’m losing my friends
I’m gonna hate myself tomorrow then I’ll do it again

Feel so much better than usual
I feel indisputable, oh
But now, I’m feeling so beautiful
Don’t wake me up from this spell I’m under if I’m still breathing
I know that I will be ugly when
I feel like myself again, oh
But now, I’m feeling so beautiful

My vision is blurry as long as I’m thirsty
Nobody can hurt me, hurt me, hurt me