Watering Systems

Shut, shut the door! Say I’m sick, I’m dead!
Turn off the mobile! Get the radio instead –
For the next four hours just leave me alone!
No, I don’t friggin’ care if the President’s on the phone!

Shut up! The footy’s on the radio;
The footy’s on the radio – shut up!

I might have rickets! I might have emphysema!
The doctor’s at the front door, but I won’t be seein’ her –
I’m likely to do something not strictly within the law
If that rock band don’t stop practising next door.

You can turn on the T.V, but leave the volume down;
Look at the commentator – what a freakin’ clown.
There’s footy on the radio – not one if or but;
There’s footy on the radio – everyone shut up.

Shut up the intellectuals with coke bottle glasses;
Shut up the trendy members of the chattering classes;
Shut up all the D.J’s, especially the Fox’s;
Thank god we shut up wankers in their corporate boxes;
Shut up in his coffin is the man who tried to stop me;
Could someone please shut up the Member for Oxley?
Shut up shop; shut up shutters; shuddapayaface;
Shut War and Peace – you won’t finish in any case;
They can shut up schools and hospitals, so why is it that
It’s so hard for you to shut your freakin’ loudmouth trap?
Oh, yeah, I’ll shut up my abuse – won’t happen any more;
Grab a beer for me, could ya, and shut the fridge door?
Shut up that drum machine, shut up those guitar sounds;
And shut up this bloody song before we miss the bloody ounce;
Shut up these stupid lyrics or I’m gonna get real cut –
The footy’s on the radio – I gonna just shut up.