Laughing (While You’re Smiling)

I’m trying to learn
The difference between love and codependence
And why it makes my insides ache
And I can’t tell if you’re something I need, or the feeling that I should shake

I need to start being honest with myself
I need to start being honest with myself
I need to start being honest with myself
And how I feel

Maybe if I tell myself that I’m doing fine
You would stick around
And wouldn’t mind me feeling so low

I’m trying to stop
Focusing on the bad parts of my head
Because I know how it feels
To be on the receiving end of it

I need to start taking care of myself
I need to start taking care of myself
I need to start taking care of myself
I need to start taking care of myself
And how I feel

Maybe if I tell myself that I’m doing fine
You would stick around
And wouldn’t mind me feeling so low
It gets so fucking old, and I’m getting too old

I’m bitter now, but one day I won’t be
I’ll be sitting at a party, laughing while you’re smiling, it’s all
And I’m angry now, but one day I won’t be
I’ll be holding your hand, swearing I’m happy
I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m home